Helping a Child Cope with Loss

by Shopify Mobikasa February 26, 2019 3 min read

When the people we love pass away, it is an immensely difficult challenge for us to cope with.  Regardless of how old we are, death just doesn’t get any easier to understand or comprehend.  What presents an even more trying time, is when someone who is coping with loss themselves, then has to also help a child understand the notion of death.

 

What do tell them? How? When?

 

These are often the questions running through the minds of parents and guardians when they find themselves in the position of confronting a child with the reality of death and the finality of it.  And while there is no straightforward answer to these questions, there are certain things that help make the process easier and more manageable.

~~

 

Preperation 

When a pet or family member is ill and unlikely to recover, it can often make a huge impact to discuss the reality of mortality in advance. While they may not fully understand it all, it will help them acknowledge the finality of death.  Helping a child understand in the days or weeks leading up to the passing of a loved one will often help them have time to process and ask questions, thus aiding them in what they’re able to understand. 

~~

 

 Having a Method

When it comes to tone, it is also important to convey the seriousness and emotionality of passing. They will read your emotions and tone, and it will become clearer to them how to act appropriately with such a topic.  Making light of the situation or trying to keep them from being sad by playing it off as light could be more damaging to them later when they try to comprehend similar situations in the future.

 

Healthy coping mechanisms should be encouraged; acknowledging it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset, and it’s okay to want to talk about it- all promote a healthy, normal emotional state. This is something that helps set the tone for handling with loss in a healthy way that continues into adulthood. Modeling the appropriate behavior for a child’s earliest experience with death guides them with learning to behave appropriately themselves.

~~ 

 

Answering Questions

Children are inquisitive by nature, and they will likely ask questions.  Some questions might be impossible to answer, while other questions might be straightforward, and others still might need some careful thought.  Don’t feel rushed to provide an answer to their questions.  Try to preemptively consider questions your child might ask ahead of time, and think through you how want to respond, and how much information you want to give them.  You know your child best, so you likely have an idea of what they’ll ask, as well as how would be best for you to respond to those questions.  While you don’t want to lie, outright, it’s also important to acknowledge their limited understanding of things, given their age.

 

 ~~

 

While every parent knows their child and what’s best for them, it can be confusing and unclear as to how to best approach a difficult topic like death.  It’s important that we, as adults, help children learn to understand the world they live in and the good and bad that comes with being human. 

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Blogs

Celebrating Life Through Images: The Transformative Effect of Printed Photos on Memorials
Celebrating Life Through Images: The Transformative Effect of Printed Photos on Memorials

by Get Urns February 26, 2024 6 min read

Read More
A girl scattering ashes somewhere in USA on a serene lake during autumn
Different Ways for Scattering Ashes in Different States Of USA

by Alex Johnson February 01, 2024 6 min read

There are many different ways to scatter ashes in the United States, and most states have favorable laws. Working with a funeral home or crematory may make the planning process less stressful and help you understand what is permitted and what is not permitted.

Read More
Embracing Hope: Discovering the Profound Symbolism of the Three Most Popular Themes – Dove, Butterfly, and Tree of Life
Embracing Hope: Discovering the Profound Symbolism of the Three Most Popular Themes – Dove, Butterfly, and Tree of Life

by Alex Johnson February 01, 2024 8 min read

Doves, butterflies, and the Tree of Life are three profound and prominent symbols that represent life, death and rebirth. We incorporate these symbols tastefully in our urn collections, allowing you to memorialize your loved ones in ways that are meaningful to you.

Read More