Learn to Invite Love to a Death Anniversary in 6 Ways
by Taylor Evans July 22, 2022 4 min read
Death anniversaries always come along. You can celebrate in any way you like, whether that’s having a drink near the loved one’s cremation urns or having a party. If you want to have a true death anniversary, you can celebrate either by yourself or with loved ones.
Some of the tips that you can follow to invite love to a death anniversary include:
1. Choose the Site Carefully
You want to think about the person on their death anniversary, and one of the best ways to “bring them” with you isn’t with a metal urn or cremation containers. Instead, you’ll often feel more like they’re around you when you choose a truly meaningful site for the event.
Some of the options people turn to first include:
- Home altars
However, you can also choose to do something different. For example, if you know that the person used to loved spending time in the garden or at a particular beach, you can choose this location for the event.
Sit down and think where the person would be if they were still here.
If the person would likely be sitting on the beach laughing or playing softball, you can use this as motivation for the place that you choose.
2. Candles, Flowers and the Works
One of the most common ways that people celebrate the death of others is to bring them a “gift.” The gift is often something like flowers. Of course, others may have a drink for the person or make their favorite food in remembrance of them.
Candles are often part of vigils, and they give people comfort during these trying times.
A few options that you can follow here are:
- Place the flowers in the person’s favorite spot
- Surround the person’s urn with flowers
- Light candles near the location
If you don’t have an urn with you or opted for jewelry to hold ashes, you have a few other options available. One common choice is to place flowers in a central location, such as around a large tree in the area.
However, you do want to be careful with candles because the last thing that you want to do is set the forest on fire.
3. Music Can Help Set the Tone
Music is so easy to bring with you because you likely have a smartphone with one of the many streaming music services available on it. Some mourn in complete silence, and if this is your preference, move to the next point.
However, you can always opt to:
- Play the person’s favorite music during the event
- Listen to songs that make you think of the person
You can also just put on instrumental music or something similar that will help you stay calm and remember the person. There are just so many music options to choose from. Again, if you want to sit in complete silence and reflect on the person’s life, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
4. Say Something from the Heart
You want to keep the day about the person that you lost. It’s acceptable to wear human ashes jewelry and sterling silver cremation jewelry during your speech. However, you want to also:
- Talk to the person and say what is on your heart
- Reminisce about the past and the adventures you had together
Many people get choked up during their speeches and really don’t know what to say about their loved ones. If you know that it will be a very deep and emotional day, there’s no harm in reciting a poem or a story either.
Additionally, if you invite others along for the event, you also have the option of having many people speak about the person.
The great thing about multiple speakers is that you’re sharing the memory of the person and keeping them alive in your own way.
5. Share News with the Person
What you say and do may or may not be known by the other person. No one really knows for sure what happens when we die. However, if you believe that the person will hear your words, you have to share the news with them.
It’s a good feeling and a way to keep the person alive. Tell the person that your old dog died or that you decided to adopt another dog. Share the news of friends doing well in life or how the kids are doing in school.
And you can also use this time to help you overcome any issues that you may be having. For example, you can:
- Tell the person about the new job that you’ve taken
- Explain the struggles of the past few years
- Discuss the many differences in the world today since they’ve left it
Sharing news with a person on a death anniversary is a touching thing to do.
6. Make Space for Love
You're going to find that the entire death anniversary is an emotional rollercoaster. You’ll let out a lot of grief, but you also need to allow love to come back into your heart. Over time, and this is different for everyone, the grief will become a burden that you need to let slip out of your life once and for all.
Once the grief is gone, you can then take the time to love again.
You may not fall in love again or find a friend as amazing as the person who passed, but you need to allow yourself to love yourself and the world around you. Death anniversaries should be a time to also remember that life is short, and you need to live it the best you can.
A death anniversary is always going to be filled with some kind of emotion. You may have red eyes filled with tears the entire time, but try to remember the fun things about the person who died.
They wouldn’t want you to be sad, and they also wouldn’t want you to forget about them.
The tips above can help you make the anniversary feel meaningful and allow you to grieve while also honoring the person who played a major role in your life.
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