Serving Their Wishes:
Preparing Yourself For Parent's Death
by Mobikasa May 27, 2022 4 min read
Children never want to think about their parent's demise. Loving mothers and fathers will eventually pass on. And while you may always know this in the back of your mind, when one of your parents passes on, you'll never be 100% prepared.
But it's up to you to honor your parent's wishes, and while unfortunate, you don't have a lot of time.
We're going to introduce a few ideas to honor the wishes of your parent after their death, aside from getting a wooden or metal urn.
First, Make Sure That You Serve Their Wishes
First and foremost, your main priority should be to honor the wishes of your loved one. Since your parent is still here, even if their health is rapidly deteriorating, you have an opportunity to honor them.
A few ideas to honor your parent are:
- Ask your parent if there's a way that you can record their life. Perhaps you can write down stories or simply sit and talk to them while they tell you the stories that made up their life.
- Videotape your parent's stories or your fun moments with them. However, keep in mind that your parent may not be receptive to being taped if they're in ill health. If this is the case, don't take it personally. Often, your parents don't want your last memories with them being ones of them in poor health.
- Discuss the funeral with your parent if they are in the state of mind that they know their days are running out.
Parents are resilient, and if they know that they're sick and dying, they may be receptive to discussing their funerals. You will want to take the following steps with caution, but they include asking:
- What would they like for their funeral? Do they want to be cremated or buried?
- Would they like you to recite a certain poem or play a specific song at their funeral?
- If the parent wants to be buried, you may ask them to choose a headstone and the location where the viewing will be.
- If they would like their ashes to be placed in cremation jewelry if they're to be cremated.
- The location(s) where they would like you to scatter their ashes if they want to be cremated.
Your parent has a legacy that they'll leave behind. While it may be a tough discussion for you to have, it's one that will honor your parent in a way that you cannot. Even if you think you know every way that your parent wants to leave this earth, you'll always question whether they wanted something different to honor them.
But when you ask about their final wishes while they're still alive, you'll be confident you served their last wishes in the best way possible.
Reminisce About Life Before Their Passing
Remember how we mentioned that you'd never be 100% prepared for your parent's death? You'll also have things that you wished you told your parents or thanked them for while they were still here.
A few things to reminisce about are:
- Stories and childhood memories that you have with your parent.
- Special occasions where your parent was there for you.
Finally, it's crucial to tell your parent how much they mean to you and how you appreciate them. You may never have this moment again, so be sure to tell them just how much you love them.
If your parent helped you through life and was always there for you, be sure to tell them this before it's too late. Often, we assume that our parents know that they made our lives better, but it's so important to express your appreciation. Just be ready for some tears and emotions during this conversation because it's not an easy one to have.
Celebrate Your Parent When They Do Pass
You've done everything that you can to tell your parent that you appreciate all that they did and have likely shed some tears along the way. While you may know that your parent is passing, it's still going to be a major shock when they're gone.
However, you still need to execute the person's last wishes, which may include:
- Going through their will and documents to ensure that their last wishes are executed properly. This will unfold over time and likely after their funeral services are complete. However, if you never had the chance to ask your parent if they wanted to be cremated or buried, be sure to check the will because they may have mentioned it.
- Find pictures or videos of your parent that you may want to share during their service or simply hang up in your home. Your parent may be gone, but you can still cherish their memories and celebrate their lives.
- Prepare some nice words to say about your parent during the funeral. You may want to recite a poem or even retell one of the stories that your parent told you about to make people laugh and smile.
- And you can even choose to carry a small piece of your loved one with you using jewelry to hold ashes or even human ashes jewelry. If you're considering this, think about who will receive the jewelry. Will you offer a piece to the remaining parent, siblings or children? Cremation jewelry is a very nice way to honor the loss of your parent, but you must ensure that everyone important is included or at least considered in this honor.
If cremation is chosen, you may want to consider a special get-together or party where you share their ashes in keepsakes or jewelry. Many people will include just immediate family in this honor. You will want to ensure that you choose a place that is memorable and means something to your parent.
However, if your parent chose a place, be sure that this is where you scatter their ashes.
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